Validation is so important, especially self-validation. It’s easy to feel doubtful or insecure with your capabilities or worth as a person, which causes a tendency to need validation from others.
While this is perfectly normal, it can be toxic to your self-development to rely on others for validation. Rather, it’s your job to validate yourself on days you feel doubtful of yourself.
Validate yourself so that the responsibility in making yourself feel better doesn’t rely on others, but on yourself. In this article, we’ll be discussing 11 ways to do just that.
What is Self Validation?
When you say self-validation, you’re accepting your experiences, thoughts, and feelings for what they are. The very purpose of validation is to accept and understand emotion or perspective for what they are, not at all justifying them.
When you validate yourself, you’re countering every negative perception you have. You accept what you feel and what you think, but you don’t believe it to be true. Self-validation helps you understand and love yourself better.
Why Self Validation is Important
Just like you would talk to a friend who’s upset, validation helps you feel empowered and stronger. Self-validation reminds you of who you are and the best attributes of yourself when you feel overwhelmed with what you lack.
In a world where it’s so easy to focus on the negatives, self-validation keeps you grounded in who you are. Rather than relying on others to validate your self-worth, doing it to yourself is important to avoid giving the burden and responsibility to others. In the end, you are your own savior and nobody else can lift your spirit but you.
11 Ways to Validate Yourself
1. Talk to yourself like a friend
You wouldn’t talk bad to a friend when they’re down and there’s no reason why you should do the same for yourself. If you struggle with reaffirming yourself, say the things you would normally say to a friend.
2. Give the love you deserve
Oftentimes, we feel negative because of a certain trauma or wrongdoing in the past done to us. To validate yourself, give the love you’ve always needed from others. Say the things you would like to be said to you.
If you need extra support and tools from a licensed therapist, I recommend MMS's sponsor, BetterHelp, an online therapy platform that is both flexible and affordable. Get started today and take 10% off of your first month of therapy.
3. Increase your self-awareness
Having self-awareness can be so powerful when validating yourself. You know both your strengths and weaknesses, so it’s easier to validate yourself when you’re honest and genuine about everything. Be mindful of the entire truth and this is how you can make yourself feel better.
4. Accept your emotions
It’s a human tendency to want to run away from your emotions as quickly as you can. In fact, you do everything to numb what you feel or use a defense mechanism such as humor.
To validate yourself, you need to be vulnerable to yourself and let your emotions be. Give yourself a break to feel and eventually, you’ll realize that feelings don’t last especially negative ones.
5. Figure out what you need
To validate yourself, you need to first figure out what exactly you need. Be as kind and gentle to yourself as possible and talk to yourself as you would a child.
Only when you know what you need can you give yourself what you deserve. Looking inward is the key, which can be challenging for some.
6. Celebrate your accomplishments
Validating yourself isn’t just necessary in negative situations, but also in successes. Recognize your accomplishments for what they are and celebrate that.
Doing so will build your self-esteem and confidence so be sure to celebrate even the small victories.
7. Read inspirational books or articles
Reading can be an inspiring act by itself, especially when you read positive and encouraging things. You can use this as validation to lift your spirit and push you further in life.
On a day you’re not feeling yourself, grab a motivation quote, and use this to ignite your spark.
Enjoy a 14-day free trial below.
8. Surround yourself with positive people
When you’re around people who make you feel good, this reflects inward. Being around good people can feel so motivational and inspirational, especially when they inspire you to do better in life.
9. Practice self-care
It can be challenging to do self-care when loving yourself doesn’t come naturally to you.
Pamper yourself with self-care activities such as going to the spa or working out – these simple things can act as a validation. It reminds you that you deserve to take care of yourself, too.
10. Avoid self-pity talk
Nothing good comes out of self-pity talk as this is the most self-sabotaging habit.
To validate yourself, refrain from doing this and acknowledge the good aspects of yourself instead. Focus on praising yourself than shaming yourself – and validation will happen.
11. Practice kindness
You need to be kind to yourself if you want to practice self-validation.
Just like you freely give others kindness and compassion, you deserve the same things as well. While it’s easy to be hateful towards yourself, nothing good comes out of that.
Examples of Self Validation
It’s normal to feel how I do.
My feelings and emotions are completely valid.
I’m so much more than my mistakes and bad decisions.
I’m proud of myself for trying.
My worth isn’t based on other people’s approval.
My strengths are more than my weaknesses and flaws.
I genuinely like and accept myself, including my shortcomings.
I let myself feel upset today as I don’t need to always feel happy.
I’m proud of my victories and successes.
I don’t depend on others to make me feel happy.
I have learned and grown from my mistakes.
I hope this article was able to shed insight into how to validate yourself. While self-validation doesn’t always come naturally, it’s necessary. You feel much powerful and stronger when you know your worth and don’t depend on others for validation.
No matter what anyone says, you are in charge of your life, including validation. By talking to yourself with kindness and compassion, you’ll feel much better, even on a bad day.