Relationships are the most beautiful thing you can experience, especially when the person you love feels the same way. Unfortunately, it doesn’t always happen the way we want. Unrequited love is one of the worst things you can experience when falling in love.
Realizing that they don’t feel the same as you do can shatter your heart into a million pieces, but what’s worse is the possible mixed signals they can give you. One minute they like you, and the next, they don’t. In this article, we’ll be discussing the 10 truthful signs of unrequited love, and what to look out for.
What is Unrequited Love and What Does It Mean?
Unrequited love, often called one-sided love, is a situation in which a person is strongly attracted to another who does not reciprocate the feeling. Most of us have been there at some time or another. It can be an emotionally painful experience.
Unrequited means that they don’t feel the same way about you as you do about them. Therefore, you don’t feel loved, and love may be a painful experience. It’s an unfulfilled love that you may be experiencing, and you feel that it can be unattainable at times.
It’s a hopeless case that normally leads you to chase after that love, even if you know they’ll never change their minds about loving you back. The worst part of it is the hopeless romantic in you thinking that if you keep trying, maybe their mixed signals mean something more than just acquaintance or friendship.
What Causes Unrequited Love?
It may seem cliche, but one of the main causes is the lack of chemistry. Compatibility is something you can still work on along the way, but if you don’t have chemistry initially, you never will.
Chemistry is one of the aspects that causes attraction, infatuation, and eventually, love. When you don’t have chemistry, you naturally won’t feel anything for them.
Another common cause of unrequited love is when you chase after them, leaving them feeling overwhelmed or wanting to distance themselves from you. No matter the gender, you shouldn’t chase after someone. You don’t feel loved or wanted, and the love you give rather than receive feels very one-sided. It is unreciprocated love.
Another aspect could be timing, maybe the person is not in a place to give you the love you deserve, in which a relationship would be unattainable. This is something that we should not take personally. Communication is key when it comes to discussing expectations and unrequited feelings.
In fact, you shouldn’t ever force yourself into someone’s life. You can get to know someone without having to chase them. However, chasing them or being overly attached to them may lead to them not reciprocating your feelings.
10 Signs of Unrequited Love
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1. You’re always anxious
Whether you’re with them or apart, you’re always anxious. Normally, this is a red flag showing you that something isn’t quite right in the relationship. You also don’t trust them wholeheartedly, most probably because they don’t meet you halfway.
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2. You overlook their flaws
When you’re infatuated with someone, there’s this tendency to overlook their flaws. While nobody is perfect, someone that keeps making excuses for every time they hurt you can be a sign of unrequited love.
You need someone that owns up to their mistakes, not the opposite.
3. They flirt with others
This alone is concrete evidence that they don’t feel the same way. They shouldn’t be flirting with others if they’re interested in you, especially in knowing it will sabotage their chances of a real relationship with you.
If their focus isn’t on you, it isn’t real.
4. You feel alone
In a relationship, you shouldn’t feel alone but you should feel partnership and appreciation. If this is how you feel, this may be unrequited love.
Obviously, doing all the work in a relationship will eventually make you feel alone, which you shouldn’t have to settle for in the first place.
5. You keep giving
Relationships are all about give and take so if you do most or all of the giving, while they do the taking, this just isn’t a relationship at all.
It’s a huge red flag if you settle for someone in this scenario as you need someone who gives as much as you do.
6. You do more work
Actions speak louder than words so you can tell that someone loves you, even in the simplest ways. Effort isn’t always about grand gestures, but if they refuse to do even the smallest gestures, they don’t love you back at all.
Reciprocating your feelings means that they try to show effort even in the mundane things like giving you time.
7. Something always feels wrong
Similar to the first point in this list, you know it’s unrequited love when someone constantly feels wrong. In a healthy and balanced relationship, you feel safe even when things go wrong.
When one is unloved, everything feels messy and draining.
8. The blame is on you
When someone doesn’t love you enough or at all, they can twist the truth for their selfish benefit. This is both toxic and manipulative. When someone genuinely feels bad, they apologize, whether or not it was their fault.
9. They ignore you
Time is the most important thing in any relationship and with unrequited love, they can ignore you for hours without even a single message as to how you’re doing. This is already a sign that they don’t feel for you what you do for them.
10. Physical intimacy is lacking
You know something is lacking when there’s no intimacy at all. Relationships are all about passion and intimacy so when you don’t feel the love when you physically connect, this is unrequited love.
How to Cope With Unrequited Love
Although it is difficult, there are ways to cope with unrequited love. Here are four methods that have worked for many people.
1) Don’t force it.
No, don’t just stop trying to talk to that person or even look at them in the hall when you know they’re coming your way; these actions will only make matters worse. Instead, try focusing on yourself and your own interests. If you’re a student, focus on getting good grades. If you have a job, start looking for new opportunities at work or outside of it.
By focusing on your own desires and tasks, you’ll soon discover that the person who is not interested in you pales in comparison to what else life has to offer.
2) Distract yourself.
Another way to cope with unrequited love is to try distracting yourself from the thoughts of that person. There are many fun and fulfilling distractions out there, such as sports, music, movies, studying a foreign language, or even volunteer work.
If you’re an avid reader, you might find it helpful to immerse yourself in a good book or series of books that you’ve been meaning to catch up on.
By immersing yourself in an activity that you love, you’ll feel better about not being with the person who does not see things your way.
3) Go out with friends instead.
If it seems like this other person is everywhere, there are plenty of ways to avoid each other. Don’t take your usual walking route, don’t stop by the same coffee shop for lunch, have your friends meet you at a different park.
You get the idea. Getting out of your own way can be difficult when it comes to love, but sometimes you just have to do what feels right.
4) Focus on the future.
Sure, you might still feel like this person doesn’t know how amazing they are, but perhaps that’s because the time isn’t right for them to know. Perhaps they’re not ready to accept your love. Perhaps you haven’t gotten to know them well enough yet.
Or maybe they’ve already gotten over whatever it was that caused them to be single. And perhaps you’ll never know why they don’t feel the same way about you.
But what’s important is that you focus on the future and love yourself enough to believe that there are people out there who will appreciate all of your amazing qualities.
I hope this article was able to shed insight into everything you needed to know about unrequited love. While it’s a terrible feeling, everyone feels this every now and then.
As long as you know your worth and don’t lose yourself in trying to get them to love you, everything will be okay. When you’re sure that they don’t feel the same, don’t be afraid to walk away and find someone that truly deserves you.