How to Let Go of Someone : The Essential Guide

Letting go of someone can be one of the most difficult tasks to undertake. Whether it’s a breakup, a loss, or a conflict, saying goodbye to someone you care about can be emotionally and mentally draining. You may find yourself in denial, feeling angry and guilty for what happened, regretting past decisions, or even obsessing over the person.

Although letting go is never easy, it is an essential part of life that allows us to move on from heartbreaking situations and heal our emotional wounds. This guide will discuss why it’s important to let go of people who no longer serve us positively in our lives as well as provide step-by-step instructions on how we can do just that.

Remember, letting go is a personal journey that may unfold differently for each individual. It’s not a linear process, and it’s okay to feel a mix of emotions along the way. Our aim is to provide you with guidance and support as you embark on this transformative path of letting go.

Why Is It So Difficult to Let Someone Go?

Even when your mind is telling you it may be the right thing to do, your heart may feel differently.

Sometimes, we don’t want to let go of someone because we are attached to them, we love them, and care for them. We don’t want to see them hurt.

Perhaps you share many things with this person. You share a home, a friendship, memories, time, your deepest thoughts, etc.

It’s so hard to let go because we are suffering from a potential loss, and we may grieve this loss.

Grief can be complex, often accompanied by feelings of guilt and confusion. When we experience grief, we go through different emotions such as depression, shock, and sadness.

These are feelings and emotions we try to avoid in life, therefore making the process of letting go hard.

5 Signs its Time to Let Go of Someone

1. Constant Feelings of Sadness or Anger

If you are frequently feeling sad or angry in a relationship, it could mean that something isn’t right. These emotions may suggest that the relationship is not good for you emotionally. Ignoring or bottling up these feelings can cause even more problems and prevent you from developing personally. It’s important to acknowledge and deal with these emotions in order to move on.

2. Lack of Growth in the Relationship

If your relationship no longer allows personal and mutual growth, it might be time to end things. A healthy relationship should provide opportunities for development. Failure to grow and improve can restrict the happiness and the potential of both parties involved.

3. Repeating Cycles of Conflict and Disappointment

If you find yourself repeatedly arguing with someone and feeling let down all the time, it can be draining and harmful to your health. When talking to each other always leads to negativity or doesn’t solve anything, it could mean that the relationship is not good for you anymore. Releasing someone who constantly causes conflict and disappointment can open the door to a calmer and more satisfying future.

4. Toxic Behaviors and Lack of Respect

If your partner shows toxic behaviors such as manipulation, emotional abuse, or any form of mistreatment, it can harm your relationship greatly. It’s essential to identify this toxicity and focus on your own well-being if you find yourself in such a situation. To regain your self-worth and create a healthier environment for yourself, saying goodbye to an individual with toxic behaviors is an important step.

5. Misalignment of Values and Goals

Shared values and goals is crucial for a healthy and compatible relationship. But if there is a major disagreement in these areas, it can be difficult to progress together. If you realize that your partner’s values or future aspirations clash with your own, it may be necessary to go your separate ways so that each of you can pursue a path that is more aligned with your individual values and goals.

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The Benefits of Letting Someone Go

Emotional LiberationLetting go of someone negative brings emotional freedom, releasing stress and negative feelings. It creates space for healing and personal growth, enhancing emotional well-being.
Release from negative emotions and resentmentLetting go liberates you from negative emotions and resentment, breaking the cycle of negativity. It allows you to move forward with a lighter heart, prioritizing emotional well-being. By releasing burdens, you create space for a more positive and fulfilling life.
Increased Self-Worth and ConfidenceEnding toxic relationships improves self-esteem and empowers you. Prioritize your well-being, regain control, and create space for positive connections. Letting go of harmful relationships boosts confidence, leading to healthier connections that enhance self-worth.
Regain control and self-respectMoving on means taking back control, prioritizing happiness, and setting boundaries aligned with personal values. It restores self-respect, fulfills dreams, and fosters a stronger, fulfilled self. Letting go leads to self-empowerment and a greater sense of fulfillment.
New relationships and experiencesLetting go creates space for new relationships and experiences, freeing you to embrace the present and future. It opens doors to growth, happiness, and connections aligned with your values. Moving forward expands possibilities for fulfillment.


How Do You Let Someone Go? 

Now comes the hard part, how does one actually go about letting someone go? Is there a right or wrong way to do it?

The truth is, there is no one way to go about this process.

First, you have to come to terms with it yourself, as well as allow the other person to come to terms within their own time.

Especially when it comes to letting go of someone we love.

It’s not like we can just instantly turn off our feelings and emotions, we don’t just fall out of love with a partner or person in the snap of a finger.

With that being said, there are some useful steps you can take to help guide you through the process.


1. Allow Yourself to Grieve

As I mentioned before, any loss in life comes with a sense of sadness and a bit of suffering. Or a lot of suffering. That’s just the way it is.

Allow yourself to experience these emotions, however, they may come to you. Don’t feel as if you shouldn’t be hurting or suffering, or even that you shouldn’t feel a certain way.

Practice having self-compassion.

Don’t be too hard on yourself, but rather be gentle with your soul. Take into account that it’s perfectly okay to grieve.


2. Come to a Place of Acceptance

Accepting that this is what you must do because you feel that it’s the best thing for you in this moment in time.

Don’t try to fight with your mind or heart, make peace with the facts. Come to peace with your decision and know that it’s okay to make this decision.

Letting go doesn’t mean that you don’t love or care for this person. It simply means that you can’t make space for them in your life, whether that is for your overall well-being or for the well-being of the other person.

letting go of someone you love

3. Have a Conversation with the Person

We all deserve a bit of closure when something comes to an end. Take the time to give both yourself and the other person closure by having a conversation.

This is when you have the opportunity to speak your truth and express your feelings.

Be honest and authentic in this moment. 

Furthermore, allow the other person to express their feelings as well, and listen with compassion. You may find some relief after the conversation is over, even if it may have caused you anxiety going into it.

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4. Let Time Do Its Work

Time either moves slowly or too quickly. It’s a tricky thing.

Maybe time played a part in your decision to let someone go, and you just needed some time to come to terms with it.

Use time to your advantage with an understanding that things will eventually get better.

Allow time to take its natural course, not rushing it or avoiding it. Keep in mind that the pain you may be feeling won’t linger on forever.

5. Keep Your Distance

We may feel tempted to reach out or connect with the person we let go of.

This is due to attachment, we often try to hold onto people even when they are long gone. The best thing to do during this process is to distance yourself and keep your mind busy.

Start focusing on self-care, your hobbies, and connect with close friends.

Resist the urge to give in to your emotions during moments of weakness. Acknowledge that the process is hard, but know that it will get better.

letting go of someone

6. Make New Connections

It’s crucial to create room for new relationships after ending one. You can do this by partaking in activities that enable you to meet new people and develop significant bonds. 

Consider joining social groups, going to events or engaging in hobbies that line up with your interests. Establishing new connections can provide a new outlook and assist you in moving on.

7. Move On With Your Life

When letting go of someone, you should focus on yourself. Concentrate on personal growth, goals, and aspirations. Be open to new experiences and opportunities. 

Keep in mind that life is a journey, and moving forward will lead you to a satisfying future.

8. Self Reflection and Self Care

It is important to give yourself the space to think about how you are feeling, what you are thinking, and what you need. Take the necessary time to come to terms with your loss and deal with it in a healthy way

Show yourself kindness and engage in activities that promote your mental and physical wellness, like working out, writing, meditating, or talking with a professional. 

Focusing on your emotional, physical, and mental health should be your top priority during this time of recovery.

9. Set Clear Boundaries

It is important to set clear boundaries when ending a relationship with someone. Let the person know your needs and limits, and make sure they understand that you require space. 

This may involve reducing or ending communication, unfollowing them on social media, or avoiding certain topics. By establishing boundaries, you can achieve healthy separation and facilitate your healing process.

Strategies for Moving Forward

1. Talk to Friends, Family, or a Therapist

It may be helpful to talk with trusted friends and family about how you’re feeling and seek their emotional support and guidance during this time. Additionally, consider talking to a therapist who can offer professional guidance and facilitate healing conversations. Their objective perspective can provide valuable insights and coping strategies. Remember to reach out and lean on your support network when needed.

2. Joining Support Groups or Seek Professional Help

joining support groups or seeking professional help when dealing with difficult situations. Support groups can offer a space to share your journey, gain new perspectives and receive encouragement from others who have gone through similar experiences. Additionally, professional help from counselors or therapists can provide a safe space to explore your emotions and receive expert guidance.

3. Focus on Personal Growth

Focusing on personal growth can be an effective way to make progress. Spend time thinking about what you’re passionate about, your values, and your goals. Set new objectives that align with your personal growth and dedicate your efforts to activities that help you improve yourself.

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4. Setting New Goals and Aspirations

Setting new goals and aspirations can help you refocus your energy towards the future. Meaningful and achievable goals can give you a sense of purpose and direction, regardless of whether it’s pursuing a hobby, learning a new skill, or focusing on career advancement. By setting goals, you can feel motivated and a sense of accomplishment.

5. Engaging in Activities That Promote Personal Well-being

To make it easier to move on, it’s important to do things that take care of yourself. Examples include exercising, trying mindfulness or meditation, writing in a journal, or doing something creative like making music or art. These activities can help lower stress, boost your mental health, and give you a good way to deal with your emotions.

What Happens When You Let Go of Someone 

When we let go of someone, they may become more distant from us. This could be hard at first, especially when we are used to communicating with them every day.

We may feel alone when this happens, but it’s a necessary step in letting them go because you need space to move forward without their influence in your life anymore. You can take this time to dive deep into how you feel without their presence.

It’s also important to note that when you do let go of someone, they may not be happy about it. They might lash out in anger or sadness. This is normal because they are going through the same process of letting go that you are, and this can make things difficult to handle when both parties aren’t ready for it yet.


Why Let Go of Someone You Love?

Some people wonder why one should let go of someone they love. Some people may have the idea that love is everything, and you don’t need anything else.

But this is simply not true. 

Love isn’t everything, each person has their own identity, needs, and wants in life and perhaps they don’t align well with the other person.

People sometimes end up in different places or stages in their lives, and that’s okay. 

For example, maybe having a child is very important to you and it is something you know you want in life. The person that you love could feel just the opposite. They don’t want to have children.

This is a big difference that could cause one person to feel resentment or anger towards the other. It could even cause the person to agree to something they don’t feel right about in their heart.

This is a situation where love is not everything, and a difficult decision of letting go should be made.

We let go of people we love for different reasons, but ultimately it comes down to wanting what’s best for ourselves and the other person.

Perhaps a person isn’t worthy of your love, and our self-respect is greater than our feelings. Perhaps you can’t give what the other person needs.

In cases such as these, we come to the realization that it’s best to let go and move on.

How to Let Go of Someone You Love

The process of letting go of someone you love can be emotional and complex. Although there isn’t a universal solution, there are steps that can aid you in navigating this journey. 

Firstly, it is vital to allow yourself to mourn and treat yourself with kindness. 

Acknowledge the decision and have an open talk with the person to gain closure. 

It would be best if you allowed yourself time, have faith in the healing process, avoid contact, take care of yourself and build new relationships. 

Lastly, establish guidelines to accomplish a healthy separation. Remember that letting go is individual, and you will eventually grow and heal in time.


Letting Go and Moving On

“The truth is, unless you let go unless you forgive yourself unless you forgive the situation unless you realize that the situation is over, you cannot move forward.” –Steve Maraboli

Letting go and moving on is a natural progression, something that shouldn’t be forced. There is no time limit, and you must come to terms with that.

By allowing yourself to go through the emotions and eventually coming out on the other side. And you will come out on the other side. It takes time and patience.

Let the good come in, and let the past go.


Are you having a hard time letting go of someone? Did these tips lead you in a better direction? Would love to hear your story, feel free to share in the comments below: 


7 thoughts on “How to Let Go of Someone : The Essential Guide”

  1. This is a really touching article! I had my best friend of over a decade let me go in October and it was the worst. She had already decided that she didn’t want to continue our friendship over some nonsense she created and then she told me that it was the end of it. It was the worst.

    • Hi Hannah! I’m sorry to hear that, maybe the friendship just needs a bit of time and reflection. I’m glad you found value in this article. Thank you for your feedback!

  2. Just what I needed to hear. So hard to let go when neither of you want to but know you must Ripping off the bandaid is the hardest part.

  3. This is exactly what I wanted to hear or read at the moment, letting go of a dear friend as she getting herself involved in her own things and not responding to me hurted me. But I need to let go for my own good. Thank you

  4. This is so helpful. I am having to deal with someone I love walk out my life. After 2 years of knowing each other and 1 year & 2 months of living together I am slowly breaking. It hurts. I am trying to accept it! Today is the day I think all her belongs will be gone 1-12-20.

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