Letting go is not an easy thing to do. Many people struggle with this around the world. We fill our minds with doubts, wondering if letting go of someone is really the right choice.
Should we let go of this person and when is the right time to do so?
We find ourselves second-guessing our intentions and thoughts, we don’t want to face the pain of hurting ourselves and others.
How will we ever know if this is the right decision to make?
I’m sure some of these questions are racing through your mind as you try to decide. Let’s explore a bit more and really dig deep into how, why, and when you should let someone go.
Why Is It So Difficult to Let Someone Go?
Even when your mind is telling you it may be the right thing to do, your heart may feel differently.
Sometimes, we don’t want to let go of someone because we are attached to them, we love them, and care for them. We don’t want to see them hurt.
Perhaps you share many things with this person. You share a home, a friendship, memories, time, your deepest thoughts, etc.
It’s so hard to let go because we are suffering from a potential loss, and we may grieve this loss.
Grief can be complex, often accompanied by feelings of guilt and confusion. When we experience grief, we go through different emotions such as depression, shock, and sadness.
These are feelings and emotions we try to avoid in life, therefore making the process of letting go hard.
How Do You Let Someone Go?
Now comes the hard part, how does one actually go about letting someone go? Is there a right or wrong way to do it?
The truth is, there is no one way to go about this process.
First, you have to come to terms with it yourself, as well as allow the other person to come to terms within their own time.
Especially when it comes to letting go of someone we love.
It’s not like we can just instantly turn off our feelings and emotions, we don’t just fall out of love with a partner or person in the snap of a finger.
With that being said, there are some useful steps you can take to help guide you through the process.
1. Allow Yourself to Grieve
As I mentioned before, any loss in life comes with a sense of sadness and a bit of suffering. Or a lot of suffering. That’s just the way it is.
Allow yourself to experience these emotions, however, they may come to you. Don’t feel as if you shouldn’t be hurting or suffering, or even that you shouldn’t feel a certain way.
Practice having self-compassion.
Don’t be too hard on yourself, but rather be gentle with your soul. Take into account that it’s perfectly okay to grieve.
2. Come to a Place of Acceptance
Accepting that this is what you must do because you feel that it’s the best thing for you in this moment in time.
Don’t try to fight with your mind or heart, make peace with the facts. Come to peace with your decision and know that it’s okay to make this decision.
Letting go doesn’t mean that you don’t love or care for this person. It simply means that you can’t make space for them in your life, whether that is for your overall well-being or for the well-being of the other person.
3. Have a Conversation with the Person
We all deserve a bit of closure when something comes to an end. Take the time to give both yourself and the other person closure by having a conversation.
This is when you have the opportunity to speak your truth and express your feelings.
Be honest and authentic in this moment.
Furthermore, allow the other person to express their feelings as well, and listen with compassion. You may find some relief after the conversation is over, even if it may have caused you anxiety going into it.
4. Let Time Do Its Work
Time either moves slowly or too quickly. It’s a tricky thing.
Maybe time played a part in your decision to let someone go, and you just needed some time to come to terms with it.
Use time to your advantage with an understanding that things will eventually get better.
Allow time to take its natural course, not rushing it or avoiding it. Keep in mind that the pain you may be feeling won’t linger on forever.
5. Keep Your Distance
We may feel tempted to reach out or connect with the person we let go of.
This is due to attachment, we often try to hold onto people even when they are long gone. The best thing to do during this process is to distance yourself and keep your mind busy.
Start focusing on self-care, your hobbies, and connect with close friends.
Resist the urge to give in to your emotions during moments of weakness. Acknowledge that the process is hard, but know that it will get better.
What Happens When You Let Go of Someone
When we let go of someone, they may become more distant from us. This could be hard at first, especially when we are used to communicating with them every day.
We may feel alone when this happens, but it’s a necessary step in letting them go because you need space to move forward without their influence in your life anymore. You can take this time to dive deep into how you feel without their presence.
It’s also important to note that when you do let go of someone, they may not be happy about it. They might lash out in anger or sadness. This is normal because they are going through the same process of letting go that you are, and this can make things difficult to handle when both parties aren’t ready for it yet.
Why Let Go of Someone You Love?
Some people wonder why one should let go of someone they love. Some people may have the idea that love is everything, and you don’t need anything else.
But this is simply not true.
Love isn’t everything, each person has their own identity, needs, and wants in life and perhaps they don’t align well with the other person.
People sometimes end up in different places or stages in their lives, and that’s okay.
For example, maybe having a child is very important to you and it is something you know you want in life. The person that you love could feel just the opposite. They don’t want to have children.
This is a big difference that could cause one person to feel resentment or anger towards the other. It could even cause the person to agree to something they don’t feel right about in their heart.
This is a situation where love is not everything, and a difficult decision of letting go should be made.
We let go of people we love for different reasons, but ultimately it comes down to wanting what’s best for ourselves and the other person.
Perhaps a person isn’t worthy of your love, and our self-respect is greater than our feelings. Perhaps you can’t give what the other person needs.
In cases such as these, we come to the realization that it’s best to let go and move on.
Letting Go and Moving On
“The truth is, unless you let go unless you forgive yourself unless you forgive the situation unless you realize that the situation is over, you cannot move forward.” –Steve Maraboli
Letting go and moving on is a natural progression, something that shouldn’t be forced. There is no time limit, and you must come to terms with that.
By allowing yourself to go through the emotions and eventually coming out on the other side. And you will come out on the other side. It takes time and patience.
Let the good come in, and let the past go.
Are you having a hard time letting go of someone? Did these tips lead you in a better direction? Would love to hear your story, feel free to share in the comments below:
7 thoughts on “An Essential Guide on How to Let Go of Someone”
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This is a really touching article! I had my best friend of over a decade let me go in October and it was the worst. She had already decided that she didn’t want to continue our friendship over some nonsense she created and then she told me that it was the end of it. It was the worst.
Hi Hannah! I’m sorry to hear that, maybe the friendship just needs a bit of time and reflection. I’m glad you found value in this article. Thank you for your feedback!
I really needed your words–thank you. I’m going to read this everyday if needed.
Thank you for taking the time to read it.
Just what I needed to hear. So hard to let go when neither of you want to but know you must Ripping off the bandaid is the hardest part.
This is exactly what I wanted to hear or read at the moment, letting go of a dear friend as she getting herself involved in her own things and not responding to me hurted me. But I need to let go for my own good. Thank you
This is so helpful. I am having to deal with someone I love walk out my life. After 2 years of knowing each other and 1 year & 2 months of living together I am slowly breaking. It hurts. I am trying to accept it! Today is the day I think all her belongs will be gone 1-12-20.