Learning to Let Go of Control: In 12 Simple Steps

We live in a world that’s constantly changing and it’s close to impossible to try to control that. Change is the one constant thing in this world and even if you try, you can’t control the outcome in your life.

You can’t run away from change, you can only adapt to the changes that happen, no matter how uncomfortable they are.

With this, it can seem frustrating trying to let go of the need for control, especially when you constantly worry about what’s to happen in the future. In this article, we’ll be talking about how to let go of control.


What It Means to Let Go of Control

When you let go of control, it means that you don’t obsess over the details in your life. It means that even when things do go the way you expected, you aren’t going to try and bend your life in that direction.

Oftentimes, when difficult situations happen, we do everything we can so we get our way. While it may work initially, it doesn’t always work in our direction.

Life is unexpected and letting go of control means that you trust that things will eventually be okay, even if you don’t force it. The biggest consequence of controlling an outcome is your peace because we were never meant to control outcomes.


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12 Simple Steps Steps to Letting Go of Control


1. Use affirmations

When the need for control really gets in your way, affirmations act as an important role to encourage and motivate you.

When you forget why you’re losing the need to control things, remind yourself that it’s for the better and that while things seem bad now, it’s not a permanent situation.


2. Have faith

Faith doesn’t always mean a divine thing, but it can also mean have faith in people, yourself, or in everything.

To surrender control, you need to have faith that things will get better. Faith is the key ingredient to feel at peace with not having control of certain aspects of your life.


3. Live in the present

The majority of the time, we want to control things because we either live in the past or live for the future. You need to live in the present moment in order to fully let go of control.

You never realize how much you can miss a moment just because you’re elsewhere.


4. Accept your lack of control

Humans are flawed and trying to control everything will only lead to more chaos and anxiety. Acceptance is an important step in letting go of the need to control and embracing what’s to come.


5. Adapt to changes

Another reason why we feel the need to control is our inadaptable nature.

We fail to accept that change is coming so we counter it the best we could by trying to control an outcome, which never works for the best.


6. Trust in everything

Even if trust is a big word, like faith, you need to trust that not everything is as bad as it seems. In fact, you’d be surprised how bad a problem seems in your mind isn’t the way things actually are.

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7. Take accountability

We may feel the need for control when we don’t want to admit our mistakes and wrongdoings. This also goes for blaming ourselves too harshly in a self-destructive manner.

To let go of control, you need to accept it and take accountability for your actions.


8. Learn from it

Instead of trying to control a difficult situation, you can instead let it go and learn from it.

There’s absolutely nothing you can do during tough times to change the facts, but you can use it as a stepping stone to grow and improve yourself.


9. Meditate

Meditation is a practice that helps you gain control while also letting go, at the same time. It helps you gain inner peace while helping you deal with the negative emotions you feel with a situation.

Meditation will help you better let go of the need for control and to have faith that things will work out.

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10. Realize the effects

Needing control has a variety of effects other than making yourself feel more frustrated than ever.

When you realize that it’s affecting your mental health, you see that control has no benefit in your life other than anxiety and burden.


11. What’s meant to be will find its way

When you realize that stressing over something you can’t control won’t get you anywhere near what you want, you’ll eventually let go of the need to control.

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Everything you’re trying to control will be yours if you’re patient enough.


12. Breathe

The last step in this list is to breathe. You just need to breathe and stop letting yourself get frustrated over something you can’t control.

Your need to control comes from either fear, insecurity, or perfectionism. No matter what fear you have, you’ll eventually end up where you’re supposed to.


Why We Feel the Need to Control Things in Life

A lot of people feel the need to control because they’re afraid of what their future holds, or they don’t want to tolerate a difficult situation they’re going through.

Humans are flawed and it’s only natural that we build the life that we want in every aspect. However, not only does it hold an impossible standard, but an unhealthy one. You can only try, but you’ll never succeed in controlling certain outcomes in your life.

Life is unexpected and that’s part of life’s charm. You never know when life is going in your favor or against it.


Final Thoughts

I hope this article was able to shed insight on how to let go of control. Even when it’s difficult and frustrating, it’s how to live the best quality of your life.

Holding on to the need for control will constantly hold you back in situations, even without being aware of it. If it’s a need for perfection or a fear, realize that control is not the answer to what you’re afraid of. None of us hold the answers to anything, but it’s not something you’re getting by holding on to control.


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