If you aren’t careful enough, it’s easy to feel resentment for a lot of things in your life – friendships, relationships, family, and even yourself. Resentment comes from the feeling you didn’t get treated right or you were mistreated because of wrongdoing.
For instance, it’s easy to feel resentment when you are being taken for granted in a relationship. This is just one of the many situations resentment is present. Out of all the negative emotions, resentment is not something you want to have in your life. In this article, we’ll be talking about the ways on how to let go of resentment.
Why We Hold Onto Resentment
Resentment and anger come together as when you feel mistreated, you’ll also likely hold a grudge against that person. We hold onto resentment because it’s the only aspect you can control when someone has wronged you, betrayed your trust, or taken advantage of you.
Resentment is something we hold onto unintentionally, especially when we feel anger towards someone because of wrongdoing. Perhaps someone showed you a form of injustice and resentment is the only emotion you know on how to deal with it.
You can also feel resentment even when someone hasn’t done you wrong, but because you feel envy or jealousy over their lives. When someone has the kind of life you’ve always wanted for yourself, this may cause resentment in your heart.
11 Ways to Let Go of Resentment
1. Realize you can’t change the past
No matter how hard you try, you can never change the past so there’s no use in holding on to your resentment. By accepting what has already happened, you can gradually let go of your anger and resentment.
2. Acknowledge that it’s a state of mind
Both resentment and anger are a state of mind and once you realize that, you can stop letting it control you. No matter how bad you feel, resentment is a temporary state that you can have control over.
3. Forgive others
No matter what they have done wrong towards you, forgiveness will bring you peace instead of anger and resentment. Forgiving others will bring you the closure you need to end the anger in your heart.
4. Forgive yourself
It isn’t just forgiving others that’s necessary, but you need to also forgive yourself. Forgive yourself for not knowing when to trust your gut instincts and for not knowing when to walk away from toxic people. Stop blaming yourself for what went wrong and just forgive yourself.
5. Set boundaries
If you want to avoid feeling resentment and anger anytime in the future, it’s best to set boundaries. This draws the line on what you aren’t willing to compromise for others. This way, you’re taking proper care of yourself and you’re letting others know how to respect you.
6. Realize how the pain made you grow
While nobody wants pain in their lives, sometimes it’s necessary to make us learn and grow. We’re all stubborn by nature and it takes pain to help us realize certain things, no matter how painful those lessons may be.
7. Shift your perspective
While it’s easy to dwell on resentment and everything that went wrong in your life, it’s important to shift your focus to let go of your resentment. Otherwise, you’ll never get out of bed in the morning because that’s how powerful both anger and resentment are.
8. Play the survivor, not the victim
You’ve got to realize that even if they treated you badly, you’re not the victim in your story. If they mistreated you, the power still lies in you since this is your life. You have control over what choices will lead to your resentment – whether you’ll use it to your advantage or not.
9. Feel your feelings
The normal tendency is to do everything to run away from your feelings and shut off everything. While distractions work in making you feel better, it won’t help you let go of your resentment. In fact, you’ll feel much worse when you repress all your emotions.
10. Be accountable
If the reason for your resentment is because of your own doing, be accountable enough to face your mistakes and own up to them. For instance, if you were envious because of a friend that has the ideal life you’ve always wanted, realize that resentment is your doing, and only then can you let it go.
11. Practice gratitude
Despite how things turned out, be grateful for the things you already have. This means being grateful for your experiences and lessons you’ve grasped along with the negative things you’ve felt.
The Benefits of Letting Go of Resentment and Moving on
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You’re a much happier individual.
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You don’t hold so much anger and unnecessary negativity in your heart.
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You feel more at peace with everything in your life.
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You’re able to move forward and let go of the past completely.
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You don’t have to run away from your feelings.
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You don’t have to live your life with bitterness and hatred anymore.
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You won’t project your emotional scars to your new friendships and relationships.
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You’ll naturally attract more good things in your life since you’re happy.
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You won’t resort to even more bad decisions to run away from your anger and resentment.
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You’ll grow from your negative experiences and pain.
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You’ll heal towards a better version of yourself, compared to holding on to anger and bitterness.
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You’ll be able to move forward in your life without having something hold you back.
Final Thoughts
I hope this article was able to shed insight into how to let go of resentment in your life. If you’re going to choose a path for yourself, may you choose peace and forgiveness instead of resentment and anger.
You may think that resentment gives you power over someone but the only person you’re damaging in the process is yourself. Holding grudges does nobody good, especially yourself. In fact, anger is the single most powerful emotion in this world that can lead to a series of bad decisions.
If you want true happiness, letting go of resentment is the only choice to make.