Whether you admit to this or not, we all want to please everyone. In fact, some people go out of their way to get the approval of others. While this is a completely normal thing, it isn’t healthy.
The truth is, you can’t please everyone, no matter how hard you try.
There are going to be people who disapprove of your actions and choices, but you can’t get your validation from them. Wanting to please people may be normal, but it’s far from healthy. In this article, we’ll be talking about 11 reminders that you can’t please everyone.
Why do we try to please everyone?
There are various reasons as to why we strive to please everyone. It’s only natural to want the approval of others. The need to please others may come from insecurity, fear, doubt, or the need for perfection.
If you’re insecure about being liked, for instance, then it’s only natural that you’ll chase after that approval. Being a people pleaser may also come from fear.
You may be scared of something in your future, or you may be scared you aren’t going to achieve success. It could also come from doubt from your own capabilities towards getting where you want to go.
Lastly, you’ll be surprised to see a lot of perfectionists actually need validation from others. It could be because you’re chasing perfection and that perfection includes the approval of others.
Are you a people pleaser?
You’d know if you’re a people pleaser if your decisions and behavior depend upon others.
For instance, if your career choice is based on your parents’ approval, then that’s an example of being a people pleaser.
You can ask others what they think of certain choices, but it’s not supposed to depend on their approval. If you also try too hard in getting people to like you, then this is also another characteristic of being a people pleaser.
A people pleaser will do anything and everything to get people to like them, whether that’s doing something out of the ordinary or doing extra measures to be noticed.
11 Simple Reminders That You Can’t Please Everyone
1. You’re in charge of your own life.
If you constantly live as a people pleaser, this will negatively affect your own life. At the end of the day, you control the wheel and nobody’s opinion of you will ever change that.
By knowing that you’re in control of your decisions and actions, you let go of caring what other people think of you.
2. Everyone always has an opinion regarding something
No matter how hard you try getting people to like you, they’ll always have an opinion about something. It’s inevitable.
Everything you do, people are going to judge and critic you, and this is where the problem lies. Until you accept this, you’ll never be at peace.
3. Right and wrong can be subjective
The thing about perception is that what is disapproved by one, can be approved by another. This is ultimately why you can’t please everyone, no matter how hard you try.
Everyone will have different opinions on certain things.
4. People are always going to talk
As mentioned earlier, everyone’s going to judge, criticize, and talk about you. In this sense, you might as well let go you need for validation and focus on living your life the way you want to.
5. The need for validation will end in regret
The more you seek approval from others, the more you’ll never have control over your own life. Being a people pleaser is one way to ruin your life, and it’s not the way to live your life either.
You can’t please everyone and doing so is something you’ll end up regretting.
6. You’ll never be happy
That need for validation results in never being happy and content in your own life.
Since your choices and actions are based on others approving of it, they’re not exactly choices based on your own preferences.
7. You’ll lose yourself completely
The worst part of needing validation isn’t so much losing control as it is losing the essence of who you are completely.
If you constantly live for others instead of yourself, you’ll eventually end up forgetting who you are. You’ll become someone you don’t recognize, maybe even someone you promised yourself you’d never become.
8. Opinions are simply just opinions
Just like everyone has opinions, they shouldn’t even matter in the first place. No one controls your life but you. Opinions don’t have facts and evidence behind them, but it’s just something they think of.
Again, they’re not valid so you can’t base your decisions and your entire life on others’ opinions of you.
9. People will tear you down on your way to success
Whether you admit it or not, a lot of people are going to try to destroy you on your way to your goals.
People aren’t always supportive and they’ll do everything to tear you down, even at the expense of seeming harsh.
10. You’re only feeding their ego
People will do everything to be the center of attention. When people hate on you and try to bring you down, this is reflecting insecurity of fear of theirs.
If you keep being a people pleaser, you end up feeding their ego.
11. People thrive on hate and criticism
Did you know it’s much easier to hate on someone rather than support them? Nobody likes seeing someone else succeed.
However, by constantly finding validation from others, you give power to hate and insignificant opinions. By letting these go, you have more room to focus on your goals and everything you want to achieve.
Final Thoughts
I hope this article was able to shed a light on why you can’t please everyone, no matter how hard you try.
By attempting to do so, you’re sacrificing the overall quality of your own life.
You’ll never get anything out of being a people pleaser, but you get a huge burden lifted off your chest when you let go of your need for validation. Share your thoughts in the comment section below: