While it’s generally harder to set boundaries, it’s essential to establish boundaries early on in life. Otherwise, it’s easy to let everyone else walk all over you.
Boundaries are how you let others know which lines to avoid crossing in order to respect you. Most importantly, it’s how to respect yourself to know when enough is enough.
Setting better boundaries is how you can ensure you won’t lose yourself in the process of constantly putting others’ needs above your own. In this article, we’ll be talking about 12 simple steps to set better boundaries in life.
What Does Setting Boundaries Mean?
Setting boundaries means that you are capable of saying no, even when it isn’t the easiest thing in the world. It’s the easiest thing to keep compromising your boundaries and forget who you are. While people may not always agree with you, boundaries ensure that you’re worth giving their respect to because you have integrity.
Setting boundaries makes you someone with the confidence and self-esteem to say no, even when they’re going against the flow. It determines how much you truly value and love yourself. As much as it’s a good show of character to put others first, you should always set boundaries on things you are and aren’t okay with.
12 Steps to Setting Better Boundaries in Life
1. Make a list
Before you can decide on setting boundaries, making a list is how to decide which lines others shouldn’t cross and which lines are okay. Sometimes, you can surprise yourself with the things you didn’t know are actually bothering you, but you never bothered to list them as your boundaries.
2. Stop people-pleasing
If you’re a people pleaser, you naturally comprise your boundaries for others. The key to setting boundaries is to stop seeking approval from others and find empowerment in listening to your own voice. As long as you aren’t hurting others, you shouldn’t mind sticking to boundaries.
3. Express what you won’t accept
If you aren’t naturally confronting, you’re going to have trouble expressing the times you aren’t okay with something. However, anyone should understand that boundaries are extremely crucial to stick to.
4. Go with your gut instinct
Most often than not, you can feel in your gut whether to say yes or no to someone. To set better boundaries, always go with what your gut is trying to tell you because it’s often right.
5. Realize you control your life
Instead of always letting people walk all over you, shift your perspective, and gain back your control. You set your boundaries and other people don’t determine what is and isn’t okay with you.
6. Offer an alternative
On the chances that you did say no, you can always offer them an alternative that you’re okay with. This is similar to a compromise wherein you meet halfway in a scenario that doesn’t break any of your boundaries.
7. Don’t say yes because you feel bad
If they are guilt-tripping you into saying yes, you don’t have to feel bad. Realize that they’re doing this for their own gain. Whoever they are in your life, they should understand your boundaries and where you’re coming from.
8. Be direct and firm
You need to be strong and firm about the certain boundaries you’ve set and don’t waive them, even when you feel bad. Being firm about your boundaries is how to show your confidence and integrity to the world.
9. Find your priorities
Your boundaries all come down to priorities so it’s all about determining which you’re comfortable letting slide by and which ones you won’t give up.
10. Love yourself better
Realize that setting boundaries are one big act of loving yourself better. People who don’t love themselves enough are those who forget that they also deserve to put themselves first.
11. Practice self-awareness
Learn to listen to yourself enough to stand your ground with your boundaries. There is only one of yourself so you can’t keep losing yourself for the sake of others.
12. Start small
Setting boundaries doesn’t always have to be so overwhelming, but you can always start simple. You can start by declining plans that you aren’t okay with or turning down tasks.
The Importance of Setting Boundaries
If you don’t set boundaries, there’s a larger chance of losing yourself in the process. People can easily lose respect for you since you don’t respect and love yourself enough.
Setting boundaries avoids difficult situations like dealing with mental exhaustion and always feeling like you’re being taken advantage of. It also makes you someone confident and strong enough to fight for what you deserve, instead of letting someone else fight that battle for you.
Without boundaries, nothing stands in the way of respect and integrity. Your boundaries are what define who you are and the things you’re okay and aren’t okay with.
The Benefits of Setting Boundaries
- You’re a calmer and happier individual
- You don’t feel like you’re being abused by others
- You’re less stressed and frustrated about everything
- You have integrity
- It’s easier to trust others
- You have self-awareness
- You’re a better friend, employee, and lover
- It’s easier to take better care of yourself
- You don’t unintentionally lash out your anger at others
- You’re brave enough to say no
- You have the energy for things you want to do
- You’re more understanding and patient
- Others respect you better because of this
- You can speak out your voice better
- You’re more secure about who you are
- You know what you want and what you don’t want
- You feel less guilty about things
I hope this article was able to shed insight on everything you needed to know on how to set boundaries. It doesn’t get any easier to set boundaries even as you progress in life, but it shows that you respect yourself enough to know what you deserve.
Boundaries aren’t unnecessary, but they’re needed to let people who you are and what you need. Without boundaries, it’s fairly easy to lose yourself, especially when the world always tries to shape you into someone you aren’t. Boundaries ensure that you stay who you are, no matter the odds.